The “Best Ever” Press Release.

No, this is not about the “best ever” press release I have seen in 25-plus years on Wall Street.

Rather, this is about the “Best Ever” press release that Amazon.com’s P.R. minions keep in their Word files for release, like clockwork, the day after Christmas (except in 2004, when they released it the day after the day after Christmas).

I am not making this up.

The following are the post-Christmas headlines from the last five years via my Bloomberg:

12/26/2006 “Amazon.com’s 12th Holiday Season is Best Ever”

12/26/2005 “Amazon.com, Inc. today announced that the 2005 holiday season finished as its best ever…”

12/27/2004 “Amazon.com’s Tenth Holiday Season is Best Ever…”

12/26/2003 “Amazon.com Wraps Up Its Ninth Holiday With Busiest Season Ever.”

12/26/2002 “Amazon.com today announced it has finished its busiest holiday season ever…” Now, any company is entitled to boast when it achieves a new all-time sales record—especially companies in seasonally-sensitive businesses like Amazon.com, where a few days of bad weather or bad news can disrupt an entire year’s worth of planning and preparation, and, therefore, hurt a years’ worth of sales and earnings.

But unless I am missing something, Amazon.com has been in business all of twelve years.

Furthermore, it is the largest Internet-based retailer on earth, and thus still benefiting from the secular shift of consumer spending online.

Finally, it is based in America, and as we have seen from the morning’s headlines, the entire American economy had its “best ever” holiday season last week, even if the numbers were not quite as spectacular as some had anticipated.

So do we really need yet another press release from Amazon.com boasting of its “Best Ever” holiday season? Not for nothing, but it seems highly likely that even Amazon’s money-losing competitor Overstock.com experienced its “Best Ever” holiday sales these last few weeks, while poor old Circuit City did in fact just report its best Thanksgiving weekend sales in five years, but at such lousy margins that Wall Street’s Finest couldn’t downgrade the stock fast enough.

So maybe Amazon’s P.R. minions should save their dry powder for the day the company does not experience its “Best Ever” holiday season.

They’ll need all spin they can get when that happens.

Jeff Matthews I Am Not Making This Up

© 2006 Jeff Matthews

The content contained in this blog represents the opinions of Mr. Matthews. Mr. Matthews also acts as an advisor and clients advised by Mr. Matthews may hold either long or short positions in securities of various companies discussed in the blog based upon Mr. Matthews’ recommendations. This commentary in no way constitutes a solicitation of business or investment advice. It is intended solely for the entertainment of the reader, and the author.